Wednesday, 4 April 2012

NaPoWriMo 4/30

Four and Twenty Hours

This is your morning “I love you”.
I couldn’t sleep, but felt refreshed
just watching you breathe;
Did you know you smile in your sleep?
That, and the steady, military regularity
of yours, kept me safe.

This is your lunchtime “I love you”.
It’s been difficult to concentrate this morning;
The drive in was road-blocked by a glorious sunrise
casting cerise shadow puppets on the white, white clouds.
I just had to stop and gaze at it. I think it’s a sign
I should be doing something else.

This is your afternoon “I love you”.
I’m tired now. So very weary,
I could weep myself to sleep at my desk.
Surely, we were meant for more
than this unending, perpetual crushing of the soul?
I know: “Don’t call me Shirley”!

This is your evening “I love you”.
I don’t know why, but I can’t bring myself
to drive home just yet. There is some…
some…some…something, some happenstance or
serendipitous accident just waiting; if only I can find it,
or maybe you have to wait for it to find you.

This is your goodnight “I love you”.
Well, happenstance never happened!
But I am now as a sea becalmed. That might be
the double whiskey nightcap I drank though.
My mind is always awash with these thoughts yet
I can never say them. We’re alright aren’t we?


  1. I really like this. Its a great way to structure a poem. I particularly like the Airplane reference :)

  2. Thanks Jack,

    Glad you liked it. I'd had the idea for the "This is your afternoon I love you" for a while and that's the beauty of NaPoWriMo, it makes you hunt the ideas out and do something with them.

    Best wishes


  3. Just on a full trawl of your NaPoWriMo poems from today's Twitter link.
    This one is my personal favourite - such tenderness. Love the timeline structure. And the ending on a question - suggesting vulnerability.