Saturday, 21 May 2011

40th birthday poem for David

There’s a maxim used on occasions like these
By both the humble and the haughty
You’ll hear it said a thousand times
“Life begins at forty”.

Let me tell you I’ve passed that milestone
And those who said it were naughty
I’ve found the opposite is true
Your life is over when you’re forty

You start to get tired and lose your zest
Your body less athletic and sporty
Soon you’ll need a Zimmer frame
Because you’re almost dead at forty

Hairs fall from your head but sprouts out of your ears
Your skin becomes wrinkled and warty
When you look in the mirror, your Dad’s face looks back
So kiss goodbye to your looks now you’re forty

Sex used to be twice nightly now it’s yearly, nearly
Spicy talk rarely ever makes a fresh sortie
Yes, ironically your sex life is screwed
Now that you’ve turned the big forty

But is not all bad news, Alzheimer’s awaits
Soon your mind will be thought-free
So you won’t remember all these negative traits
So drink up and celebrate being forty.

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